Let me start this with a spoiler alert.
You know that scene in Wanted when all the guild of assassins guys are standing around talking trying to figure out which among them is to be trusted and who should actually kill James McAvoy? And Morgan Freeman goes “then shoot this muthaf*cka here” or something and before anyone can, Angelina Jolie shoots a bullet that kills everyone in the circle? Except Morgan Freeman because he will never die. I can see this happening in Nelson, Georgia shortly. But I tend to have an overactive imagination.
What’s going on in Nelson, Georgia you ask? Oh just the city passed a law that requires every head of household to own a gun that’s all. A Family Protection Ordinance. City Councilman Duane (“be smoking on”) Cronic backed the city ordinance saying that it was sort of like the entire town putting out one of those security signs in their front yards. A sense of community showing this town is not to be messed with. But you know how sometimes people move into the house with the security yard and just don’t pay to Brinks or whoever to come out and actually monitor their house? This law is kind of like that.
They did go ahead and put in the exemption for convicted felons, and the mentally or physical disabled. But if you just plain and simple refuse to abide by the law? Well then ok. There’s no penalty for that. The Family Protection Ordinance is just put out there to know if you and your criminal friends decide to set up shop in the city with a population of about 1300 folks, chances are you could get a cap in that ass.
I know rural areas tend to have their own ways of life and while some big cities think tighter gun control laws are the answer to the problem, the smaller towns seem to want to shoot them all and let God sort it out. It just seems ridiculous to pass a law of such sweeping nature, even if it is does only cover 1300 people. Especially with such upfront half-assed enforcement. Maybe Cronic just owns the only ammo store in Nelson? Maybe he’s the great great great nephew of John Nelson rifle maker?
Cronic thinks this law will also help for the clearly inevitable moment when Nelson residents need to “provide emergency management of the city.” Maybe Cronic knows something about the zombie apocalypse that we don’t? Or maybe his town will end up in that assassins circle waiting for someone with the balls to shoot first.