Have we given the award out for “Dumbest Parents of The Year” yet? I have a stellar example of good parenting that needs to be in the running. “I just didn’t think… It would be, an issue,” says mother, Abbey Carlson, about the fact that she let her 10 year old daughter ride in a dog crate strapped to the bed of a pick-up truck. Carlson and the girl’s stepfather, Thomas Fishinger, were driving along the Pennsylvania Turnpike when other drivers spotted the girl in the bed and called police.
In their defense, Fishinger emphatically stated that the crate was, “strapped in,” and I’m pretty sure the cage was approved for withstanding vehicle crashes. This just in, those wire crates are rickety as shit, they’re not airline approved because they tend to fall apart easily with movement. Nice try, Fishinger, stepfatherhood suits you well. Wait, there’s one more point that Fishinger would like the general public to know, the dog was totally crying in an “animal cruelty” sort of way and the kid wanted to be back there. That makes sense. And what’s this, mom? The kid plays in the crate all the time with the dog. That’s exactly the same thing as while driving on the highway.
You’re right, Carlson, “you just didn’t think” anything about anything before putting your kid in a rickety cage in the back of a moving vehicle. At least they didn’t try to put the ten year old in the freezer. This was a classic example of, “People Should Have to Take a Class Before Becoming a Parent” or even, “Why Do They Get to be Parents?” but more likely it’s a case of, “How Did These People Make it to Adulthood with All of Their Limbs?”