I had not seen any of the nominated pictures this year. I had not seen any movie this year or probably the five years before this. As such, I thought I was perfectly qualified to write about the Academy Awards. Why, because the night really doesn’t matter about the movies at all.
Oh sure, the gold statues are given to the winners and in a couple of days whether you won or lost will make a big difference in their box office numbers. But the show is all about the dresses, the jokes or lack of them and the dresses. So let’s talk about dresses.
Charlize Theron reminded me of Brigitte Neilson in that white Amazon dress, mamma mia. Catherine Zeta-Jones, not a fan of the gold dress, but she can rock a potato sack. Nice to see a woman look like a woman. Ann Hathaway looked like she put on a pink kitchen apron but there was definite side boobage, so I will give her props for that. The distraction of Jane Fonda’s extreme yellow dress was matched only by the distraction of how much work she’s had done on her face. That being said, she looked phenomenal.
I swear I do not get America’s love affair with Ryan Seacrest. He’s so bland, he’s not sexy and what the hell is that hair? Speaking of faux celebrities, watching the red carpet, I realized I don’t know the names of any of these people. I know most of them are reality show people who have no talent other than being famous, but is that really a talent? Why do we care? I don’t, at all.
Halle Berry walking out for the Bond tribute with the dazzle of the black and silver gown against the red background was WOW. The red carpet didn’t really do it justice, the stage did.
Unfortunately with everyone having a stylist, the days of the really fun dress mistakes are nearly over. These actresses may not look wonderful, but very few look really bad. Too bad that can’t be said for the rest of the telecast.