Ok, I admit it. There are times when I just don’t understand the male psyche. Lately, the more I read, the less I comprehend. But, whatever gets you through the night.
Now I know men and women are opposites, everything about us is different. Physically, all of our protruding parts are designed to fit into the others. Kinda like nooks and crannies. But it seems some of you guys aren’t happy with the usual poke and pull. Some of you it seems, really need to get your freak on. Take for example, this Chinese guy who I guess was feeling lonely, so he needed to bring home a little company.
It seems there is an X-Rated movie out there which has caused three men that we know of, to try and imitate it. The fascination with this particular act totally escapes me. And the danger of it also escaped these men, as they all ended up in the hospital, and one ended up dead. So what was so erotic that men all over the world are literally dying to try? uh… sticking a live eel up their ass.
Oh yeah, that’s what I want to do on a Saturday night. Stick a live, 20″ freakin’ eel up my ass. Did y’all remember those things have teeth? And here’s the thing, you stick him in, and he starts squirming upstream (that’s about as tastefully as I can put it), where he eventually ends up in your colon. And he’s trying to get the fuck out because, well we all know what works its way down your colon, so if you go up… you’re gonna meet some unpleasant stuff sooner rather than later. So the eel starts to chew in an attempt to move to a less polluted neighborhood and bingo… perforated colon and massive internal bleeding.
Now I’m well aware of the variety of things that for one reason or another (oh hell, we know there’s only one reason) end up in someone’s rectum. I once wrote a blog on it, fascinating array of items: a cigarette lighter, hand wrench, Christmas tree branch, bedpost… you know the usual stuff. But a live eel, really guys? Don’t they make a vibrator that would simulate this kind of thing? If not, can someone design one, so we can keep these idiots out of the hospital and keep the eel population intact?