Are you a grower not a show-er? Are you a Gherkin in a big pickle world? It’s time for the little guy to get some praise.
If you’re looking for another reason not to go outside I recommend vultures. They are starving, vicious, and circling. You don’t even have to be dead.
I have plans for my retirement. It involves travel until I can no longer do so and then warm temps, ocean, and cocktails. It does NOT involve hookers or crack cocaine. Eh, I’m still young. That might change.
You can get snow blowers, lawn mowers, seed, feed, spools of cord, and threatening dildos? Not at MY Tractor Supply. Maybe I’m just irritating the wrong clerk?
It’s new and improved. It’s stronger and longer lasting! When the rest of the world ceases to exist it might be the only thing left to keep the cockroaches company. It’s gonorrhea, now with possible septic shock and death in days! Coming soon to an orifice near you?
TV seasons are winding down and you’re probably wondering what you’ll do with the summer months when it’s too hot to get outside. If I might be so bold, might I recommend Hemlock Grove? Sexy, scary, and leaving you wanting more, Netflix is giving you a little more than they used to with another exclusive series as gripping as the stuff you’re paying for with HBO and Showtime.
I’m not sure if you have to be more sex deprived or more hungry to participate in this sort of activity. I’m not even sure which of these two folks I’m more embarrassed for.
You can’t unring a bell and you can’t unsee the birth of your child. Perhaps it is time to give men an out when it comes to being present at childbirth. If nothing else, maybe he should get some good drugs to help him get through it.
Forget what you’ve seen on crime TV shows. It’s okay for cops to lie and accept sexual favors. It’s all in a day’s work.