Bored? Why Not Get Yourself Kidnapped?

Are you bored? Have you done it all? Seen it all? Your friends want to BASE jumping again this weekend, but that seems so run-of-the-mill now you’d rather stay home and check your emails. You need something new, something more exciting to fill that void in your life that only a rush of adrenaline can fill. But what? There’s nothing that intimidated you anymore. Nothing that makes you feel like you’re standing on the edge of life and death. You’ve tried everything. DONE everything!

“YAWN!!!”

Well, you could always get kidnapped. That’s exciting, right? Imagine being grabbed off the street, bundled into a vehicle, bound, gagged and held in a dark place. You don’t know what’s going to happen to you or if you’ll even live through the ordeal. All you can do is sit there, completely at the mercy of your abductors and pray to see your loved ones again. Could there be a bigger rush?!

Sadly, getting kidnapped isn’t something that happens to everyone. Unless you’re a dignitary from a war torn land, a drug dealer, a rich businessperson who may or may not have made a few enemies along the way, or the close family member of one of the previously mentioned, it’s unlikely a kidnapper will give you the time of day. It sucks!

But what if I told you you could still make it happen? Sure you might not be a kidnapper’s target now, but I know a way you can change that. All you have to do is give Ultime Réalité, a small company in Eastern France, a call. Ultime Réalité specializes in making your wildest fantasies come true. You can be a hunted fugitive, drug smuggler or even dead. If you wanted you could sleep among the dead, in a totally non-sexual way, that is. And, of course, you can even be a kidnap victim.

YES!!!

For a fee, which starts at around $1,300 for a basic grab, the folks at Ultime Réalité will give you the real deal in kidnap experiences. According to how much you’re willing to fork out your abduction can even include such things as car and boat chases. I’ll say again. A. BOAT. CHASE. In Europe! You can be held for four to eleven hours and you never know when they’ll come for you. After you take the service, they watch you for a few days and wait for the right time to strike. Then, they pull up, grab you in front of everyone and cart you off. Awesome! They make it look so real your family and friends won’t know it’s fake unless you give them the heads up (Which is probably a good idea). You may want to let the police in on the game too. I hear law enforcement gets pretty pissed about mobilizing for a rescue when they don’t actually have to save someone.

Ultime Réalité owner, Georges Cexus, assures that no one gets hurt during the mock kidnapping and if you wuss-out before your time is up, you’re given a safe word that you can use to end the charade. But why would you want to? This is the ultimate rush. The thing that makes you appreciate life and freedom and the fact that you actually have the money lying around to go all the way to France and pay to be abducted.

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