I love my Canada, but on the pop culture landscape we really move in slow motion… 17 years after The View started, 3 years after The Talk, Canada finally has our own rip-off call The Social, which debuted yesterday.
So yes besides having the dubious distinction of spewing forth Nickelback and Beiber, we are behind the times… hey we only got the Amazing Race Canada this year and it kinda blows.
I could live with late if something was worth the wait, and The Social ain’t, based on its first episode yesterday.
The hosts are all celebrity media types, all women, all in their 30s, all skinny and liberal and chatty and botoxed with big hair; hosts include vain entertainment reporter Tracy Melchor, smart gossip blogger Lainey Lui, and two other bland women whose names I didn’t catch. And don’t care much about now.
The Social aims to be different by being hooked into social media, which apparently means that the hosts read tweets about every story… uh, that’s not interactive, that’s just reading, and I don’t watch TV to have people read twitter to me — I can do that without you people!
If The Social wants to survive, here is what they need to do…
1- Ditch one of the interchangeable fembots whose names I didn’t catch and bring on someone older or younger, or at least someone who eats.
2- Be Canadian – sure the top story on new possible pot laws here was good, but Kardashians at number two? How is that new or Canadian?
3- Don’t be Canadian – stop being so polite to each other, disagree, interrupt, don’t hug it out. You like each other, I get it, and it bores me.
4- Clean up the busy cluttered set! Less is more when it comes to a TV set, you don’t need every pattern in the world on the floor and walls and everywhere else. My eyes hurt.
5- Fire your fashion “expert”… that bedazzled sweatshirt with the pencil skirt is enough reason.
6- Watch The View and learn… Sure it’s old and clunky and jumped the shark years ago, but the roles those women play (old, young, conservative, idiot) at least give it some structure rather than interchangeable women saying interchangeable things.
7- Add in a fifth host, a catty gay man… cuz we make everything chattier and more fun!