A new species of Phallostethus has been discovered in Vietnam. Phallostethus, meaning “penis chest”, have their genitalia located just below their chins. The new member, P. cuulong, is the 22nd to have been discovered. This fish keeps getting referred to as a “penis head” and as the name suggests and the actual anatomy shows, this fish really has a penis chin and chest nuts. And that, my friends is why I had to set the record straight. Chestnuts are super a lot more funny than penis head(s). At least you don’t have to read about the Republican National Convention for a few minutes.
I think it’s so funny that we’re so shocked by placement of genitals. From what I’ve experienced working at veterinary hospitals for ten years, people aren’t even very familiar with dog and cat genitals, much less a 2cm fish that lives in Vietnam. Please read a little about cat penises before you go dropping your jaw to the ground. Genitals are weird no matter where they are on an animal’s body.
Apparently, scientists are most excited by this find because they’re picking up sex tips, Lynne Parenti describes the advantages of penis chins and chest nuts,
“For another thing, head-to-head mating is apparently ‘a very efficient way to do it,’ Parenti added.”
That’s what she said, am I right???? I have to go do some “scientific research” about this whole thing. Doing it fish style might be my new thing. Wait, is that already a thing? I better go check urban dictionary. It’s probably something gross. Kids these days.