I’ve got this great idea for a new movie! It’s got suspense, cyber-terrorism and espionage. It goes like this:
See, there’s this shadowy, government-funded group of hackers – I call them the “Code Crackers” (How cool is that? Not too flashy, borders on lame, but it still works). Anyway, they’re secretly funded by the government of this one country. Right? (I’m thinking China) and they’re being paid to work out of a secret building hidden in a run-down neighborhood and they focus on nothing else but hacking this other country (Let’s say, the US). You still with me? I’m thinking I could fit some high speed chases and end off with a huge explosion with slo-mo hero dive scene. I wonder if I can get Kate Upton to play the female lead… That would be HOT!
Wha..? What do you mean that really happened? They made MY movie!?! Oh… It’s not a movie. So… There really is a secretly funded group of hackers working for the Chinese government? Uh-huh… Let me get this straight. They’re called the “Comment Crew” and they’re supposedly responsible for a major percentage of hacks on the US? Wow! I mean it’s no “Code Crackers”, but I guess “Comment Crew” is cool too. They’re also called the “Shanghai Group”? Okay, that’s kinda better than mine.
But how did you-? Oh a computer security company named Mandiant tracked them. So what you’re telling me is that Mandiant traced the hacker activity to a run-down neighborhood just outside Shanghai and there just so happens to be a People’s Liberation Army building in called P.L.A. Unit 61398 right where the trail ends?
That is suspicious! I mean, it’s not like a bunch of hackers are hiding out right under their building and launching cyber attacks. Who’d be dumb enough to believe that? I wish I could say this surprised me. It isn’t the first time China’s been accused of sanctioning cyber attacks against the US. What is the Chinese government saying? They’re denying it, huh? No surprise there either. I know! Maybe the PLA didn’t put a password on their wi-fi router.
What? Mandiant says the “Comment Crew” is responsible for over 140 cyber attacks since 2006 and they’re attacking critical infrastructure in the US like electrical power grid, gas lines, waterworks and so on. Ooh! Scary!
Well thanks for letting me know. I really thought I had an original movie idea. Can you imagine how embarrassed I would have been if I called Hollywood and pitched this?
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Jessie
02/19/2013
Good Gravy that’s some scary shit there. I bet Kate Upton would still play your lead as long as she got to be involved in the final chase scene in a pivotal way.
Vinny C
02/19/2013
In my story, she is… and she’s wearing a string bikini. I haven’t really worked out the reason for her being in a string bikini during a high speed chase, but it’s still a work-in-progress & I’m still ironing out the details.
Handflapper
02/19/2013
Better get an agent. “Based on gripping real-life events” only makes for bigger box office.
Vinny C
02/20/2013
Of course!!! Why didn’t I think of that?
*yanks script out of bonfire*
Andrea
02/19/2013
I’m confused. are these hackers paid by the US gov?
Vinny C
02/20/2013
That could be the plot twist. It could be like they’re paying them to hide around the building & hack the US & make it so they get found.
BRILLIANT!
Andrea
02/20/2013
so they’re not? they’re just hackers in China? is this fiction? I’m so confused.
Vinny C
02/20/2013
I’m led to believe it’s real. Who the hackers work for seems to be the real question. Mandiant suggests that if the building where the hacking activity seems to be coming from a building belongs to the Chinese government’s PLA then… you know… walks like a duck, talks like a duck…