Actual picture of the Loch Ness Monster.
Finally someone is stepping up to the plate to put all you science nut jobs in your place! With SCIENCE! I know that sounds contradictory, but Scottish newspaper, “The Herald” is reporting that schools in Louisiana using Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) textbooks are using the existence of Nessie to dispute/debunk the myth of evolution. From ACE textbook, “Biology 1099″,
“Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”
Read what I just said. . . “SCIENTISTS are becoming more convinced.” GAME. SET. MATCH. This isn’t about fundamentalist Christians molding innocent young minds with an agenda of creationist brain washing. . . it says “SCIENTISTS.” In your FACE scientists!! Wait. . .
Whatever. The bottom line is scientists are clearly unconvinced about evolution, because OTHER scientists believe the Loch Ness Monster is real. So that means there is WIDESPREAD disagreement and confusion!
I’m reminded of the line from Shakespeare’s “The Merchant of Venice”, and believe me I didn’t have this memorized, I had to look it up:
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart:
It’s ironic to see that quote’s first line turned on its head with Creationists citing Science for their purpose. The remaining three lines remain in tact as written.
In a related development, a chupacabra warns that vaccinating your children will give them the autism.
He totally has a friend who vaccinated and gave the autism to his kid!!
Andrea
06/26/2012
well El Chupacabra is totally real so I’d take his word for it. fact.
Jim
06/26/2012
WORD.
Amy
06/26/2012
Oh, well if SCIENCE says it’s true, who am I to argue?
We have a Nessie up where I grew up. Its name is Champy. Because it lives in Lake Champlain. Here is a website all in French with photos. You have to trust it. Because it’s in FRENCH. http://theudericus.free.fr/Esoterisme/Champy/Champy.htm
I’ve been to Lake Champlain a number of times and I’ve attempted to Champy-whisper Champy but with no luck at all. I think its playing hard-to-get.
Also, once I went to the fair and there was a chupacabra exhibit where you could pay a dollar and see a chupacabra but once you went into the tent, there was a hole in the cage and the barker outside would pretend to be all freaked out and say “ZOMG IT ESCAPED RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” We were so entertained by the chicanery we didn’t even mind that he just stole our dollar.
Jim
06/26/2012
hahah! pwned.
David Jón Fuller
06/26/2012
Jim, the Scientificators will not totally have been pwned until that Nessie has prompted some scientists to say climate change might not be real/caused by humans/a thing. Then, total pwning. They will have to open a pwn shop.
Jim
06/26/2012
wait. . . climate change ISN’T real. Scientist already HAVE said!