If you’ve ever wondered how Sprocket Ink tracks down stories each day to inform and entertain you, well, it’s complicated and rigorously researched. Okay, not really, because this is how I found today’s column – One minute, I was chasing facts about why North Korea has nuclear weapons aimed at the United States and trying to figure out who the new Pope will be when another story pops up on the computer screen and yelled “HEY, SPROCKET BOY, LOOK AT THIS!”
“Feds Spend $1.5 Million to Study Why Lesbians Are Fat. (CNSNews.com) – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”
The American economy is in rough shape. Despite recent reports of job growth and the GNP rising, many people are tightening their belts because of less discretionary income or they’re overweight Rosie O’Donnell fans, at least that that’s what the National Institute of Health thinks.
Instead of focusing attention on bullying, suicide, and marriage inequality among the LGBT community, the United States Federal government wants to know why not every lesbian looks like Ellen Degeneres, Portia de Rossi, or the Mean Queen of Lean, Jillian Michaels.
Shouldn’t we just ask them why and how they’ve figured out that eating well, exercising regularly, and making healthy lifestyle choices also coincides with their sexual orientation. Better yet, how about finding out how we can fight and overcome obesity among all overweight Americans, not just the ones who can recite old episodes of The L Word.
Few things scream screwed up American priorities more than this news. Almost $1.6 million dollars have already been granted and spent by NIH’s Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) to study the relationship between sexual orientation and obesity. The very dry, and quite pointless quotes by the organization’s investigators indicate that while the study is in the middle of it’s expected five-year length, no factors have been determined as to why females who prefer same-sex relationships tend to be heavier than males who likes other males. Maybe that’s because there isn’t a reason? You know, because gay people are just like straight people? Some like food more than others and like exercise less?
Again, get Jillian Michaels on the phone. I flipped on Biggest Loser last night and she was responsible for a 25-year-old woman near death last year losing 95 frigging pounds. I guarantee she didn’t drop a million bucks to figure that one out.
The greatest country in the world? Sometimes, I think I know what the North Korean military hawks are so ticked off about.