There’s a major point of contention in my marriage. It comes down to this: I prefer music, and my husband prefers movies. I would rather see a concert and let the waves of the bass amplifier wash over my body and threaten to disrupt the natural rhythm of my beating heart, and he would prefer to buy the largest tub of popcorn known to man and settle in for an all-day trilogy marathon of some variety or another. I prefer the Grammys, and my husband would throw an Oscars party, if I let him. Okay, maybe he wouldn’t throw a party (he IS a man, after all), but at least he wouldn’t complain about watching the Academy Awards. He will certainly complain about watching the Grammys.
I love the Grammys, though. Yes, yes, I don’t care about Bruno Mars, and I don’t even know who it is that Taylor Swift recently broke up with, but I love watching performers like Adele and Florence and the Machine and Arcade Fire (ah, when they won best album a couple of years ago, and brought fifty people up on stage to sing, and even had BMX bikes running all over the place, I was in Heaven. Yes, that’s my definition of Heaven) belt it out. I can even tolerate the mashups that have become quintessential in pop performances at the awards ceremony and the cheesy lines that the presenters invariably muck up.
So, while developing a list for my husband (I like to come to an argument prepared) of five reasons we must watch the Grammys on February 10th, I came up with the following list. I share it with you because I care about you.
5. As far as I am aware, there is no planned showcase of oddity including Lady Gaga this year. Now, I like Lady Gaga, but I don’t typically enjoy meat dresses or cocoons, so, a little break from this atypical behavior would be welcome.
4. The Black Keys are nominated for six awards. I adore The Black Keys.
3. Mumford and Sons are up for six awards as well. I’m not the biggest Mumford fan (I certainly respect them) but my husband is. This will be helpful.
2. Sting is going to be performing. Which kind of terrifies me (because let’s face it, I don’t want to know about his tantric sex any more than I already do) and kind of intrigues me (what, pray tell, is planned for this performance?). I like to know what will be discussed at the watercooler on Monday morning.
- And last, but in no way least… LL Cool J will be hosting the Grammys. LL Cool J. Is he a fantastic musician? Well, no, not really. Is he delicious eye-candy? Yes. Yes, he is. Will this help me in making my case for watching the Grammys with my husband? Maybe not…
Will you be watching the Grammys? No? Why not? Wait…WHAT? That night is filled with Downtown Abbey AND the Return of The Walking Dead? They scheduled the Grammys for the night The Walking Dead returns? Are you kidding me?
Screw it. I’ll be watching The Walking Dead.