I’m a Barbie Girl. No, Really.

A few weeks ago, I had a dentist appointment. Like many people, I despise the dentist. I like MY dentist as a person but having someone put their hands in my mouth is near the bottom on my list of Things I Like to Do. As I sat in the dentist’s chair digging my nails into my hands, The Ellen Show came on the TV that was mounted in the corner of the ceiling. I’ve always found the TV placement in the room to be a little odd. I think it was originally put in there for my entertainment, but it’s at an angle where it’s difficult to see unless I’m looking down (since my head is tilted back.) I have a strange suspicion that the TV is actually there for the hygienist’s entertainment.

Anyway, Ellen was interviewing Rita Wilson on her new CD. She asked Rita why she made a CD. Rita replied that she loved singing as a child. Ellen commented back saying that everyone should do what they loved as a child. THIS made me think. What did I love as a child?

Barbies.

As a kid, I played for hours with my Barbies. I had a ton of them. I had the Barbie ‘Vette, the Barbie Dream House and the furniture to fill it, the Barbie Disco Stage, Cowboy Ken and his horse, the Barbie Camper…. the list goes on and on. I tried to think of ways that I could do what I loved as a child (play with Barbies) as a career. I could sell Barbies. I could do reviews on the latest Barbies. I could help think of concepts for new Barbies. Or I could follow in the steps of these ladies and BECOME A BARBIE.

Valeria Lukyanova from the Ukraine has done just that. Although she isn’t saying whether she’s had work done, it’s speculated she has had ribs taken out to get a slimmer waist and that she has breast implants. Some think her photos have been Photoshopped as well. She admits to using “creative makeup” but nothing else. She’s not just a Barbie Girl however. She blogs, writes songs, is a New Age-er, vlogs, and hands out advice like a spiritual guru. That’s right, she’s pretty and deep.

Then there’s Sarah Burge. You may remember her as the mom who gave her 8 year old a voucher for cosmetic surgery for her birthday. She’s back, making news lately because she is about to become a Barbie Pageant Mom. That’s right, she wants her seven-year-old daughter, Poppy, to enter American beauty pageants. The goal? For Poppy to beat Toddlers and Tiaras and to compete in every beauty pageant they can in the United States. Poppy will be in her first one in Atlanta this month.

If I choose to go the route of these women, I’m going to do it right. Mattel just came out with the Katniss Barbie. Some are saying that this Barbie is “too grown up.” I’d like to show those people the human Barbies from above. And even though I really loved my Cowboy Barbie and Disco Barbie, I think I’m going to go for the Katniss Barbie look.

If I go this route, only one of my eyes would close. She's a winker!

Would cocaine be readily available?

The PERFECT look!

Think I can get a sponsor?

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