In Japan, Love Is In The Toilets.

With everyone saying the world is scheduled to come to its demise at the end of this year, you may not be overly preoccupied with the whole “going green” kick that’s been going for the last few years.

Let’s face it, what’s the point of trying to save a planet that’s just a ticking time bomb. A bomb that is, as we speak,  slowly winding its way down to zero… Taunting us… Laughing evilly as we try desperately to secretly build interplanetary spacecraft to ferry the rich and affluent to a new secret colony hidden on Mars where they’ll toast to the fireworks display put on by the Earth exploding.

See that? That's probably us in December.

Someone is building secret spacecraft, right? Keep in mind, Mars will need journalists too. Remember that.

Anyway, I digress. Let’s suppose for one teensy second here that the planet isn’t about to shatter into a million pieces and kill us all. Suppose we have more to look forward to than just what this year has to offer. Maybe then some of us should consider how we should be keeping this rock habitable for us all.

So “green” it is. I’m sure you’ve already had it crammed down your throats often enough the different ways we can help save the planet. Well, a new campaign has been launched following a study on toilet paper consumption and its effects on the planet’s tree. This study comes from nowhere else but, Japan.

Ah, Japan! That wonderfully quirky nation I love so much. They never disappoint. I bet you thought they were all robots and cartoon porn over there in Japan. But you’re wrong. Yes, there are those, but did you know they also love toilets there. I mean, like, a lot?

Over there they have toilets with Starship Enterprise-style armrests.

Make it flush, Number One… Or is it Number Two?

They’ve even got commodes with built-in sensors to automatically raise the lid as you approach. And don’t get me started on the ones that use the sound of  the water to cover your fart noises…

So why the fascination with toilets? Well, as Kazuo Sumimiya, director of the showroom where there is currently  a diamond-studded toilet worth over $100,000 on display explains:

we believe a deity exists in the [toilet]. That’s why keeping lavatories clean and taking good care of [them] have been a Japanese custom since long ago.

*blink*

By the way, if you’ve never seen what a Japanese-style toilet looks like, here’s a picture:

Um… O… kay?

Anyway I digress… again.  Adding their two cents in on ways to help the planet, the Japanese Toilet Institute (yes, you read it right) has released the results of a study that shows men use an average of 52 inches of paper per toilet visit, while women use almost 39 inches, on average.

I really don’t want to know how they conducted this study.

Arising from these findings, the “Let’s Love the Toilet” campaign was launched. The campaign is geared towards sensitizing people about how much toilet paper they use to clean themselves.  And for those of us who’ve had those “memorable” moments when we unwittingly stumble into the battlefield which the public restroom that someone used just before us, the campaign  teaches toilet etiquette as well.

A-freakin’-MEN!!!

So let’s hear it for Japan for giving us yet another way we can help Mother Earth stay clean and green for years to come. If she doesn’t kill us all in a fiery, mother-of-all-PMS attacks come year-end, I’m sure the info they’ve provided will serve us well.

If not, I guess we can still put those spacecraft and that Mars base to work.

source  |  source