He’s a father, a husband, and he’s written more books than I ever will. He’s into music and knows more about it than Miley Cyrus knows about twerking. Today we meet Lance who represents the dirty, dirty South and isn’t ashamed to admit it. 10 gripping, highly journalistic type questions to really know the man behind the posts.
1. Lance, let’s get right into it. In ten words, what makes Fight Club the best movie ever.
I can’t talk about it. Neither can you. Let’s fight.
2. You spend so much time writing. Here on Sprocket, on your blog, manuscripts. What kind of stuff do you read? Is there any reading for enjoyment or is it all “research”?
I read a lot of biographies, oral histories about music, historical novels, and the classics. I just finished Scarlet Plague, a 1913 short story by Jack London that mirrors a lot of what is going on now, in the world, 100 years after he wrote it. I also just finished Everybody Loves Our Town, an Oral History of Grunge. It’s over 500 pages of Seattle people talking about why I didn’t crack a smile between 1991 and 1999. Awesome.
I like funny books too. Please don’t tell anyone, that.
3. So what’s the what on the 100 word song? How’d you get the idea?
My friend Velvet aka www.velvetverbosity.com hosts a 100 word song writing prompt meme. When I started my blog in 2010, I found her through a friend and used her stuff to make my own writing better. She went on a sabbatical, I think she climbed a mountain in Nepal or found God on the corner of 3rd and Amistad, but in her 8 month or so absence, I started 100 word song. I or one of my writer friends will pick a song, write 100 words inspired by it. My second book, Soul To Body, was almost entirely written over 100 word song prompts covering about 18 months. Hi, I’m not normal. Come play with us.
4. Your life as the only male in a house with three daughters and a wife. So much estrogen. I assume there are a lot of feminine products around. Hair ties, make up, low fat yogurt cups. How do you keep your sanity, well whatever little you have left? Bonus question, what’s the best brand of hair tie?
Target has the best hair bows and ties. I think they should pay me, now.
Here’s some stone, hard truth. I’m the neat freak in my house. I’m also the high maintenance one. My women should write about what a whack job they live with. Living with four women is exhausting and my DVR has way too many shows about young good looking vampires, witches and pretty little liars on it. But everyone’s hair always smells good.
Watching football, fixing flat tires on my wife and teenager’s cars, and killing bugs is how I validate my man card. But a nice bath with a beer nearby at the end of the day soothes any and all tensions. Wait, did I just say that?
Yes. I recently had my 25-year high reunion. I had people that have known me since I was a wee child come up to me and alternately say “I admire you for putting yourself out there” and “what the hell is the matter with you, commie?”
I think this means I’m doing something right. It’s important to be honest about who you are and what you believe in.
That being said, it would be nice to not be the only liberal within a country mile or fifty.
6. College. You did some stuff. Blocked some tackles and caught some balls ad what not or whatever. And your kiddos are pretty involved in athletics. Would you encourage them to play in college too?
Technically, I played organized football in high school and some club ball in college. I covered the University of Alabama sports teams and got very close to people who eventually made cash in the pros.
My daughters are athletic. My teenager is a varsity cheerleader who may cheer in college. She’s female so there may be a change of mind. My middle daughter, now 10, is a brown belt in judo and has been taking drums lessons for a year. I’m hoping she’s the first Olympic Gold Medalist who’s also in a rock and roll band that brings back the genre. And my youngest, age 9, is a softball player. Right now she’s all hit, no glove, maybe this will lead to something.
7. How many blogs has your blog beaten up?
Six. Wait, the blog title is ironic, because I know what the word means and Alanis Morrisette does not.
8. Boxers or briefs?!
What a personal question, I will not lower myself to a further coarsening of the culture….
boxer briefs …I like the combination of support and style of them together in one underwear.
9. If you were to run for President, what would be your platform?
Please, do not vote for me. But, if you can someone less insane who has a brilliant world view of a liberal utopia where the rights of everyone are honored, practiced and implemented and our citizens are never threatened by war because of decisions by its politicians, then, please vote for them.
10. How crazy does one have to be to take on the task of cutting open your heart and putting it onto paper, or…writing a book, as some would call it? Like pop singer shave your head crazy, or drive cross-country in a diaper crazy?
Like waking up in Mexico with their head shaved, no pants on, sober, with no money in their pocket and have to find their own way home, in a diaper crazy.
And I’m underselling that.
Lance is pretty much the best right?! Follow him on the Twittah @lanceburson and go buy his books Helene of Troy here, and Soul to Body here. And find him on the book of face here. He also writes for the music website Raised on the Radio, here https://www.facebook.com/pages/Raised-on-the-Radio/216377198527916