Sprocket Ink continues its Interview with the Writer series, where we interview one another giving you the chance to get to know us a little better.
This week we’ll be talking to recent Sprocket Ink addition Pickleope from his self-titled site, Pickleope. 1. As one of the more recent additions to the Sprocket Ink family, how are you enjoying our brand of crazy so far?
There’s a brand? Did you guys trademark it? Put it in an envelope and mail it to yourself? As a person who uses an anthropomorphic pickle with antlers and a drinking problem as an avatar, I don’t think there’s any brand of crazy that I couldn’t adapt to…except furries.
2. You’ve lamented from time to time about fellow bloggers who have dropped off the blogging circuit, yet you’ve kept up a steady stream of funny since 2010. What keeps you going?
I can’t afford therapy, so I need to dump my insanity somewhere.
3. I’ve done a few interviews in the past and usually ask this question:
When did you first realize you might be attracted to me?
You know what? Forget that. You’ll probably deflect from answering just like all the others. Instead I’ll ask:
How do you come up with these incredible ideas for your posts?
I realized I was attracted to you right at the moment you flattered me. I’m very susceptible to flattery. My ideas generally come from the gin soaked void in my brain. Some people contemplate the meaning of existence, I think about silliness like what it would be like if a dolphin raped me. That is why some people make money from their ideas and I blog for free.
4. You’re meticulous in the way you protect your identity. So much so, that until recently, I wasn’t 100 percent sure what your gender was or where you’re from. Initially, I chalked it up to the possible conclusion that a pickle/antelope hybrid probably didn’t even have a gender and was really some sort of asexual entity that reproduces through cloning.
Anyway, I am curious as to the reason for all this secrecy. Are you wanted in various states/countries or is this all in an attempt to protect the ones you love?
There’s a couple of reasons. First, I value employment and employers generally frown upon the online antics in which I traffic. Second, I feel like staying anonymous allows the humor to stand on its own. When people see gender, nationality, race, whether it’s subconscious or not, people will project certain stereotypes or allow them to dismiss certain ideas. Also, it’s fun to see people debate my gender, because it kind of shows how unimportant gender is for what I/we do.
5. You very recently came back from a vacation from an undisclosed location which you revealed had tropical and jungle settings. Since I live in the tropics, where there are jungle settings in some areas and zip lining is the new thing here let me just say: I’m on to you! Why are you trying to track me down? Who sent you?!
Vinny, let me just explain that you have angered many a person in the Japanese government. Watch your back, because any minute a Yokozuna will be crashing through your door.
And yes, I will consider taking my talents to anywhere that will pay me. However, thus far, Lady Gaga hasn’t returned my calls.
6. You do a lot of drawing in your posts. Speaking from personal experience, I find it to be very time consuming and can often lose an entire day drawing for posts. Does drawing cartoons take up a lot of your time, or am I just slow?
It takes A LOT of time. That’s why I don’t do the drawings very often.
7. You mention drinking a lot. Do you find that booze helps to enhance your writing style? I ask because I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve my own technique.
No, I joke about boozing because I may have an alcohol issue (isn’t it great that we can call it a “disease” now? In fact, in the U.S. did you know that if you seek treatment for alcoholism, an employer can’t fire you for showing up drunk, because you have a disease!). Drinking is tool. But if you don’t know how to use that tool, it would be like giving a chainsaw to a chimp. Only real drinking professionals can channel drinking into their writing. Don’t drink and write, kids, unless you’re really good at it.
I love Sprocket Ink! (Please don’t kick me off.) I also love Twitter and Pinterest is cool. But it’s not fun to talk about things I love. Let’s talk about how crappy Tumblr is. Tumblr is blogging for illiterates. (How many more bridges can I burn? Let’s find out, screw you, MySpace! You hear that, Justin Timberlake? MySpace is a punchline, much like the rest of the members of NSync!)
9. You sometimes let your hyper, 8-year-old “interns”, to Pickleoose – a pickle/moose hybrid who, I assume, is a relative of yours – tell your stories for you, once again proving the usefulness of having minions. Do you recommend them for everyone?
Everyone could use minions. Look at what they do for people like Dr. Doom or institutions like Cobra. Cobra Commander never goes to jail thanks to allowing his minions to take the fall for him. Minions should have minions.
10. Has the Dalai Lama ever returned any of your calls?
I’m kidding, of course. Everyone knows that guy has become a total diva since he crossed 3 million followers on Google +
Instead, who are three of the bloggers you like to stalk?
Well, you, of course. Fellow blogger Kellie at Delightfully Ludicrous, Muppets For Justice, Mayor Gia, A Beer For the Shower, Poke the Rock, I could go on, but I realize you only asked for three. If I didn’t mention your blog, it’s not because I don’t love your blog, blame Vinny for limiting me. And no, D-Lam has been very cold to me. All I want to do is peak up that frock of his, maybe look through his giant coke-bottle glasses while staring at the stars together. Maybe mash our past lives together like a reincarnation orgy. But he won’t call me back. Not even a text, or sext.
This interview was conducted by Vinny C. Despite his mistrust of social media, you can still find Pickleope on Twitter and even on Google Plus. Of course, the one place you’re always sure he’ll turn up is on his blog.