It’s been, what – a month since the iPhone 5s and 5c came out?
A freaking eternity, right? Like, if I had one, I’d be totally tired of it by now. Big deal – so the screen is bigger, the thumbprint security thingy and blah, blah, blah. What’ve you done for me lately Apple? I keep asking male Siri what he’s got up his robotic sleeve. Perhaps a new iPhone model?? Huh? Of course that’s when I’m done giving him/it shit about his/its gender. “I do not have a gender.” Yeah, right. If that wasn’t an issue, we’d still have just female Siri giving us attitude. By they way, have you noticed she’s a little less bitchy, but still gives more ‘tude than her genderless male counterpart? Whattup with that? Maybe it’s just because I’m a woman and there tends to be a weird undercurrent goin’ on.
Now that the excitement has died down, we’re looking for the next great technological advancement from the Geniuses at Apple. They’ve got us trained. And just like a Siegfried & Roy epic fail, that shit can turn bad on you real fast. But if we’ve learned nothing else, at least we can rest assured that Apple is cyber thinking ahead. That’s why, my smart phone obsessed friends, take comfort in knowing that the long awaited iPhone 6 is on the horizon.
This is not to be taken lightly. That’s why we will have to wait until 2014. “What?! A whole year?!” Sad, but true. But here’s what we have to look forward to.
Ask yourself…WWSJD? (Duh. What Would Steve Jobs Do?)
- A larger screen – The 4s has a 3.5″ screen and 5s & 5c have 4″ screens. The iPhone 6 will have a 4.8″ screen to not only compete with the Moto X and HTC One, but to best them. Take that!
Shape change - Because aren’t we tired of that boring old rounded corner thing? I don’t know about you, but I’d enjoy my smart phone a whole lot more if it had sort of a geometric shape thing goin’ on in the design category. Besides, now we get to buy all new cases that cost $35. I still haven’t run out of stupid ways to waste my money, so I think it would be cool to spend extra money on accessories.
And that’s it! TWO really exciting changes to the iPhone that we can get jacked up for and look forward to waiting in long lines to be the first to own.
What? Did they resolve the issue of a glass screen that scratches easily? Uh…no. Did they figure out how to make the casing shock proof enough to render the overpriced iPhone case obsolete? Nope. Why would they wanna do that? Suckuhs. No, we still need to spend $15 for a piece of clear plastic that picks up every piece of lint in from here to Timbuk Tu and shows fingerprints like George Zimmerman’s police record. Can’t put that damn thing on? Better go to the mall and pay a $10 surcharge so Brianna can put it on for you while she smacks gum and catches up with her homies.
Bitter? No. Hell no, I’m not. I’m just a little jittery. I need my iPhone fix. And besides…when is the new iPad coming out?
photo credit: adr studio