Oh Governor Jan Brewer. What’s her deal? She’s either an extreme sadomasochist or the evil queen from any single Disney movie. At any rate, she really love to play the villain. When she’s not enacting racist immigration laws, she also shoots puppies and kittens in her free time.
Just kidding about that last part. I hope. Jan? Care to comment?
It seems Jan is choosing to remain silent on the shooting puppies debacle. To be fair, we made it up and didn’t actually call her office to comment. Hooray for responsible journalism!
I think the word you’re searching for is, “Anyway.”
For her latest act of Disneyesque villainy, “In a move designed to appease anti-abortion advocates, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed into law Friday a bill that cuts state taxpayer money to Planned Parenthood. Use of public funds for abortions is already restricted in most cases in the state, but the new law will ensure that taxpayer money isn’t going indirectly to support abortion services.”
Oh, Jan Jan Jan. Did you learn nothing from Susan G Komen? Do you really want to go on record with Susan to prove you’re pro-life by restricting access to life saving services? This is not about abortion, hon. Planned Parenthood provides all sorts of valuable health services to women who cannot get them elsewhere and, I know this may come as a shock, women like to be healthy. Especially when it comes to their lady parts. Even poor women. Shocker, I know.
I mean, I’m sure most women don’t actually go to the PP for abortions. I guess I shouldn’t speak for them. As for me, I know I like to get my annual free abortion when I get my breast exam and pap smear and HIV testing and free birth control. And I’ve not ever been pregnant either, because of the aforementioned birth control that the PP gives me for free. Funny how that works.
Do you really want to get on the wrong side of this war on women, Jan? And, just a thought here, has anyone told Jan she’s a woman too? Maybe in the rush to be the GOP darling, she’s forgotten. Perhaps we should send Jan a replacement uterus and ovaries since she seems to have misplaced hers. It’s like Jan and the GOP have forgotten women can vote now. We can also wear pants and drive cars. Hooboy!
Maybe Jan is just so scared of the A word that she’s forgotten about her breast exams and pap smears. Or maybe Jan doesn’t need contraception (35% of services Planned Parenthood provides) or STI/STD Testing and Treatment (34% of services) or cancer screening or prevention (17% of services) or other services like pregnancy tests and infertility treatments or even adoption referrals (11% of services). No, all Jan cares about is that 3% of what Planned Parenthood provides are abortion procedures. Never mind that hospitals also provide abortions, but most of the women who use any and all of Planned Parenthood’s resources can’t afford fancy schmancy doctors.
Because Jan doesn’t care about abortion really. She cares about who can pay. And if you can’t pay, you don’t get your abortion and you don’t get your breast exam and you don’t get your contraception which will prevent your abortion. And the cycle of assfuckery goes round and round. (Sorry, this post is rated PG13 for brief language. The rest of this post will be written in binary). Regardless, Jan knows that abortion is legal and so instead of going after the actual law, she’s picking on the underdog. Classy move, that.
All I can say is that I feel for the women of Arizona. Though, I’m sure California and Oregon will take them as refugees. I’ve got space on my floor and a stockpile of condoms from my local Planned Parenthood.