Ladies, When In Japan, You Have To Visit The Toilet of Terror.

I’ll never understand the Japanese preoccupation with toilets. Then again, I’ll never understand politicians and a lot of the things they say and do, but that’s another story. The Japanese’s obsession with the porcelain throne has led to some-um-interesting innovations in toilet technology. Take the flower garden toilet, for example. There’s also a projectile shooting goalkeeping toilet that can thwart even the best soccer strikers. Yup, you won’t find these coming from anywhere else but Japan. Now we can add another one to the list. One I like to call the “Toilet of Terror”.

There’s an interesting ladies room in Ten and Chi, an establishment housed in the Lemina Building in Shinjuku, Tokyo, that’s sure to be your next must-try while visiting Japan: The TenChi toilet.

Ladies, imagine, if you will, sitting down to “attend to business”, so to speak, in probably the strangest toilet stall you’ll ever visit. Why? Because directly in front of you is a giant head, of all things.

As if having this floor-to-ceiling monstrosity staring right at you the entire time isn’t unnerving enough, suddenly, it starts COMING CLOSER as you sit down. No, this isn’t some trick your eyes are playing on you. It really is moving. Not only that. As it starts to move, it starts singing. From it’s mouth, a weird (Actually, downright terrifying), yodelling-type song starts to play, as it draws in. Closer and closer it gets until it’s right at your knees (Provided you’re not standing in the toilet seat at this point).

But it doesn’t stop there. It continues right up to the bowl.

Once it reaches this point, it stops and, while you’re wondering what fate this singing mechanical monster has in store for you…

Nothing, actually. Turns out it just wants to give you a kiss.

Its mouth, which I estimate is about the height of your crotch area while seated, is all puckered and everything. Let that sink in a bit…

Or you can just watch one woman’s encounter on this video:

What possible reason could anyone have for inventing this? Like I said, I don’t get why they do it either. I can offer some suggestions, though, for some more positive applications for the TenChi toilet.

- It can aid in facilitating a more thorough bowel movement, seeing as you’ll literally be scared shitless.

- It could help you to deal with certain fobias like the fear of confined spaces (Or giant singing heads) while you’re in a more relaxed state of mind.

- It could finally be the one restroom that eliminated long lines, since no one is going to stay inside longer than necessary.

- With it, you can get a daily dose of adrenaline pumped through your veins. This could increase your focus, energy and responsiveness, especially after a very big lunch that otherwise might have left you feeling lathargic.

Those could be some viable reasons… Right?

In the end, though, it’s probably just another example of Japanese weirdness we’ll never hope understand, but still love them hopelessly for having.

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