Sometimes You Just Want To Be Left Alone

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone. I want like 30 minutes. Are you bleeding? No? Then just leave me alone.”

This conversation happened in my home pretty early. I wanted to be here, but not here. If you were bleeding or dying in some non-lethal way that incited some sort of “MOM!” sort of way, fine. I was there. The rest of it? I grew accustomed to the low ‘mommmmmmmm’ drone that accompanied a ridiculously unimportant complaint. I learned to tune it out. It’s what parents do. It’s how we manage to cope with the incessant blathering that happens while we’re trying to manage life’s responsibilities and the whole parenting gig at the same time.

Sometimes though, the need to get away is a little stronger than others. Sometimes parents book vacations to far away places. Sometimes we book rooms at skanky motels and pretend we’ve gone somewhere else. Don’t judge. Sometimes we disappear for months on end and let everyone believe that we’ve been kidnapped, are dead, have been lost at sea… what?

Russell Matthews’ wife reported him missing October 9, 2012. The Coast Guard began their search for the missing man in full force. He wasn’t just one of US, he was one of their own. Helicopters searched, third parties looked, everyone worried. What had become of the Coast Guardsman that everyone loved?

At the time, Matthews was being investigated for illegal marijuana use… I know… just read on. Months went by. Not one, but 4 months passed before Matthews showed up at his Ohau home to find no one there to welcome his homecoming. Imagine that. After 4 months of being MIA, no one was waiting at home for you to show up randomly. Harsh.

At the time of the latest report, Coast Guard officials were not able to state for certain where Matthews had been during his 4 month hiatus from the real world. According to the AP, he was incoherent when he was taken into custody and transported to the local hospital. The Coast Guard promises answers when the patient/hostage/escapee-from-real-life/coast-guardian is alert and coherent enough for questioning, though he’s already been assigned to the Naval Brig on Fort Island while they decide his fate.

One can’t help but wonder if the reason comes down to, “shit got heavy so I took a powder”… seriously, I’m thinking of taking one right now. Of course, I’m thinking of taking one to some place tropical, like the exact area where Matthews dropped off the radar. For those of you in the freezing cold tundra of the United States, let this be an example to you that life isn’t always greener on the other side of the Pacific where stuff is warmer and tropical and lovely and… dammit, greener!