As a Canadian, I am looking forward to the upcoming American election. It’ll give us something to watch on TV once the Olympics are over, it has more drama than three seasons of 90210, and the absurdist French farce elements are always good for a laugh… I mean those right-wing nuts are for comedy, right?
So then I read about this douchebag on the left… sort of. Mark Clayton just won the Tennessee Democratic primary for Senate, so will be the party’s official candidate this fall. And this guy is such a loon that even his own party doesn’t want you to vote for him!
On Friday the Tennessee Democratic Party disavowed Clayton, who just won its primary. Why? Well… Clayton is vice-president of the group Public Advocate of the US, which has been deemed a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center for it anti-gay activism. Plus he is a fan of conspiracy theories, such as he says the federal government is secretly building a tunnel from Mexico to Toronto in order to establish a new union that will overpower the USA. Yep.
Among his other greatest hits, Clayton has accused Google of spying on behalf of the Chinese government, and warns frequently of an “encroaching godless world order”.
SInce his win, the clearly disorganized Democratic Party has said they will not back him or allow him to use any of their resources. Why didn’t they catch this earlier? Dunno. How’d he win? Well the party has a theory:
According to a party statement, Clayton only won the primary because “Democrats in Tennessee knew nothing about any of the candidates in the race, so they voted for the person at the top of the ticket… The only time that Clayton has voted in a Democratic primary was when he was voting for himself.”
Now this is just the nomination that he got, and I am no expert on American politics, but I am guessing a Democrat in Tennessee has about as much of a chance of actually winning an election as a snarky Canadian gay pacifist has a chance of winning an election in Tennessee. Zip. Nada. Zilch.
Ah, politics… this is better than anything NBC can dream up.
Andrea
08/07/2012
huh. who knew I’d be hoping Tennessee would elect a Republican?
brahm (alfred lives here)
08/07/2012
I know! I mean I guess it’s a given that a Republican will win, which is how this guy snuck in as a Democrat, but still this is just nuts…
Andrea
08/07/2012
maybe he’s trying to infiltrate the Dems. someone tell him his fangs are showing.
brahm (alfred lives here)
08/07/2012
maybe… doesn’t quite seem smart enough to have a strategy like that though!
Marshall
08/07/2012
How do I get on this work crew building the tunnel? That is something I must be a part of.
brahm (alfred lives here)
08/07/2012
I believe the aliens are building that tunnel with lasers….
Lance
08/07/2012
well you can’t say this dude’s following party platform talking points. or thinking points either.
what a doosh
brahm (alfred lives here)
08/07/2012
Okay, granted, he does get points for not being a blind party follower… but he loses (more) points for being a loon….
Sarah
08/07/2012
Damn! I like conspiracy theories too, but I always thought that would bar me from politics. Now I know I could have been running on my Fox Moulder platform this whole time!
brahm (alfred lives here)
08/07/2012
Yes! You run on X-Files platform, I will run on a Starman platform… cant be any worse than the people we have in office now!
Lance
08/07/2012
i think this guy would run on Smoking Man’s platform
brahm (alfred lives here)
08/08/2012
or the Stupid Man’s platform….