As parents we want the best for our kids. We want them to be kind, intelligent, well-liked, and confident. Our job is to do everything we can to be supportive and help them become the amazing adults we know they can be. Sometimes that means putting in the extra hours helping with a science project, making sure they always look glamorous, hiring a tutor for that dipping math grade, finding someone to teach them the importance of not wasting food, or maybe even paying someone to take their virginity. Right? No?
One Philadelphia mom decided to take it upon herself to get her boy the confidence to be da man when he heads off to Harvard.
Worrying about your child’s self-confidence is normal. Slightly outside of normal is attempting to boost their confidence by paying someone to sleep with them. Even stranger is planning it out as this mother has done. “Now you spring into action…” and “Keep dating him (and showing him different sex positions)…” By simply reading the ad I can get a sense of why this kid is a little awkward with girls. If I were a boy with a mother like this I’d be a little scared of girls too.
There are, of course, some things that the woman didn’t consider:
1. Hookers are cheaper than cars. Harvard is expensive.
2. If you want someone with experience to teach him sex positions perhaps a 19 year old or younger isn’t the ideal age.
3. What will you do if he finds out you bribed a girl to date and have sex with him? Imagine if you found out your mom was paying your friends to hang out with you. Quadruple that humiliation and consider the sexual issues that will stem from it.
4. Perhaps he doesn’t like girls.
5. Maybe he’s just not ready.
Obviously, since this is all Craigslist related, this could all be a hoax. It could also be a sad man living in his aging mother’s basement wearing stained sweat pants posting an anonymous ad hoping young girls will email him pictures of themselves and then go into detail about their sexual experiences to prove themselves to be the ideal virginity bandit. This would seem to be the most likely scenario because what mother is worried that her 18 year old is not having sex?
If he is still a virgin when he’s finished at Harvard, my favorite car is a BMW X Coupe.