Hey, sweetie! How you doing today? Not so good? A little down in the dumps again, huh? Well, don’t just stand there, come. Come on in and have a seat. I’ll brew us a nice cup of joe and you can tell me all about it.
What’s that? You don’t drink coffee?
Oh, it’s nothing! Really! It’s just… That explains so much. No wonder you’re depressed so often. What do I mean? Well, haven’t you heard? They’re now saying that coffee helps in preventing depression too. No, really! It’s true!
I know what you’re going to say: “Coffee bad! Big, smart, sciencey man say so.” But, let’s face it, those guys did that study like a million years ago. I’m pretty sure they consulted planetary alignments and used an abacus to come up with their results. Scientists today are way smarter. Did Galileo invent YouTube? I think not! Can we fly because of DaVinci. Okay, maybe, but let’s stay on topic.
Listen, sunshine, forget all that crap those anti-coffee Nazis have been telling you about coffee being “bad for you”. Science today is coming up with more and more evidence of the health benefits of coffee. It’s like the gift that keeps on giving!
This study was done by researchers from the Harvard Medical School (Hear that? Harvard! Smart!). They studied 50,000 women for ten years to come up with these results. 50,000 women for ten years! You can’t argue that kind of dedication. And just what do you think that study found? Most of the women they studied who suffered from depression. Not. Coffee. Drinkers. Either that or they drank decaf. UGH!
The study also shows that the more you drink, the smaller your chances of getting depressed. Keep it within reason, of course. You don’t want to get those jitters. They say about two mugs a day is alright… For a lightweight wuss.
Just think about it:
- You’ll look good because it makes you less likely to be overweight
- You’ll be healthier as you’re less likely to have high blood pressure or diabetes
- You’ll feel good too since you’re fighting depression with every rich, smooth, savory sip.
All from drinking coffee! Outstanding!
No-NO! I didn’t say you were overweight! Sheesh! Stop crying! Okay, princess, if you don’t want to believe me, let me read what one scientific expert said about the findings:
This fits nicely with a lot of the previous work and what we know about caffeine and the brain. It blocks adenosine, which produces a similar effect to increasing dopamine production. And it’s becoming increasingly clear that the dopamine-rich areas of the brain are much more important in depression that previously thought
See? And he’s a scientist. An expert. I don’t even know what “adenosine” is. But he does. How can you disagree with that?
What’s that? You will have a cup of coffee with me? Excellent! I’ll go make us some.