Nigera is headed to the African Cup of Nations (read: soccer) final four. They are facing the country of Mali after defeating the Ivory Coast. I’m not going to act like I know that much about soccer but I do understand bracket play and know there are a ton of countries in Africa, so this has got to be a great feat.
To encourage the home team to do well, the Association of Nigerian Prostitutes has offered a week of free sex if they win.
Read that again. 1. There is an Association of Nigerian Prostitutes. 2. A WEEK of free sex?! For the players? Coaches? Ball boy?! Not sure of the parameters of this offer but that’s gotta be a huge promotion. 3. There is an association! Pimps went corporate. Suck it Papa John!
“We want to congratulate the Nigerian national team, the Super Eagles, for qualifying for the next round of the competition.
“To show our support for the national team, we’ll be declaring one week [of] free sex if the Super Eagles can win the trophy.” - ANP secretary Jessica Elvis reads (via ynaija.com):
That’s gotta be the best pregame pep talk in the history of the game.