Well, as the Brits have been know to say “Keep a stiff…” oh you know. However these days there are other stiff things which are more of a concern for residents of a East Sussex County, England nursing facility. In an effort to address all the “needs” of the inhabitants of the Chasely Nursing Home, the time has come to call in the call girls. Yes indeed, they have Hospital Hookers on speed dial.
Apparently far too many of the residents have been looking for love in all the wrong places, and have taken to groping the staff. Seeing as these highly educated nurses were not hired for anything other than clinical examinations, the management decided it was best to bring in the pros. Sue Wyatt of the nursing home management team noted that the occupants had needs, and they would not be doing their job if those needs were not addressed. “We use a private consultant who arranges everything.” said Wyatt. ” They are an independent person who works in the home. She puts people in touch with people” Back home in Jersey, we would call that a Madam, but I’m sure they have a classier name in England.
Now we’ve all been in these types of facilities, they are not big on privacy. So how does the staff know when one of their patients is being administered to by a nightime Florence Nightingale? Well the staff places a bright red sock on the doorknob of the room. No mention is made as to what the other sock is used for.
So everyone at the happy hooker home was doing just fine until the East Sussex City Council found out about it. Now the nursing home is being investigated for the possible “exploitation and abuse” of vulnerable people. I call bullshit. I think the council members are just worried that the nursing home residents are getting a little, a lot more often than they are.
Come on, we’re all adults here. Should the decision to allow these booty calls rest in the hands (no pun intended) of a bunch of bureaucrats? Or should we let the pros handle the situation?