USPS just announced that they’re only going to be delivering mail five days a week but still delivering packages six days a week. They say they need to make changes and this would save them $2 billion a year. I also have some tips for them to increase their business.
1. Treat customers as if they’re customers and not annoying people who are interrupting their day. Have you ever gone into a post office and been ignored so solidly that you’re not sure if you’ve done something wrong? Try the postoffice.
2. Don’t sigh loudly while helping a customer. They must have a class, taught by a gum chewing teenage girl every year as part of their continuing education requirements. “Points we’ll be discussing today: ‘Eye Rolling Without Actually Rolling Your Eyes’, ‘The Loud Sigh And When To Use It’, ‘Being Angry At Someone For No Reason’.”
3. Don’t act like you don’t have a pen. I know you have pens back there. You know those chains with pens at the end? Do that?
4. Don’t act like I’m the one who should know all the rules. It’s your job.
5. Be more like other delivery companies, work for it. AKA, don’t be a bureaucrat.
6. Smile sometimes. And not just when you’ve found a rule that makes it impossible for me to send something registered mail.
If the postoffice would implement these simple tips, I’m sure some of us might be tempted to use them more often. Also, consider not delivering me junk mail. That’s not to say they’re all bad, I once talked a postal worker into helping me save three trapped kittens on a Saturday after they were closed, we even (slightly) destroyed government property (an old fence) to do it. They could learn a few things from Kai. I’m just saying, sprinkle in a little, “We like people who give us money” sometimes, ya know?