I’m going to take a brief informal poll here. What would you likely do when approached by the above angry bear? Oh sorry, let me clarify… after violently shitting your pants and crying like a baby inside your mind, what would you likely do when approached by the angry bear? If you said “well I’d probably shit my pants just a little bit more, and then run away like a fuckin track star” then you’re in the 99.824% majority.
Now imagine that angry bear has your little dog in it’s mouth. Now what would you do? If you repeated your same answer to the previous question, then you’re still in the 99.823% majority. Unless you’re 22-year-old Brooke Collins from Alaska. If you’re Brooke, then you punch the bear in the face, and get your dog back. I’ll repeat that – she punched the bear in the face.
Brooke has now earned a small piece of my heart that will forever be hers. I’m also assuming that Brooke may have testicles of steel, but that can’t be confirmed. Just out of curiosity, has anyone else been told that bears can sometimes be dangerous? I’m not the only one that has heard rumors about that, right? That bears are usually – ummm – big, and they have – ummm – claws and stuff, and they – ummm – can eat you and stuff?? Is anyone else privy to this hush-hush insider information?? As evidenced by the photo below, they have been documented to be skilled in things like martial arts too.
Anyhow, Brooke is now my new hero. Her dog, named Fudge (which could be the topic of an entirely different article), turned out just fine as well. I certainly hope that Brooke places “Bear Punching” on her resume; it would probably fit nicely in between “Excel sheet proficiency” and “crime fighting.”