Romney’s Amercia

And Jon Stewart thought Mitt Romney wouldn’t provide any comedic fodder this election season. Oh how wrong he was.

Let’s start at the beginning.

Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a very privileged boy with a very stupid campaign staff. Our story begins with a smartphone app, a smartphone app that isn’t so smart. This app would let you upload any photo you want, such as your face, or a kitten, or a hot dog, or a penis, and superimpose a message about Mitt Romney. Something like, “I’m with Mitt!”

Like so:

Except, oh no!  You read that right. That does say, “A Better Amercia.”

To be fair, Mitt thinks he’s Mexican and he’s pretty sure that’s how you say America in Spanish. And I, for one, could give two shits about America, but, like Mitt, would love a better Amercia. Because I’m a real Amercian.

Ah, but our tale doesn’t end there, kids, no it does not.

Not long after, this happened:

Stop rubbing your eyes. You’re not hallucinating. Mitt would like you to get a “peak” of his new campaign. He didn’t mean to say peek, though, because that would be another typo. He meant that his campaign is the peak of the Republican mountain, or maybe the presidential mountain, or maybe Mt. Amercia.

But this isn’t the end of our tale.

You’d think it would be. I know. Because we live in America and a presidential candidate would have fired that app developer or campaign staffer who spelled the name of your country wrong, let alone a presidential candidate who said on camera that he liked firing people, even when said candidate didn’t even fire anyone when some idiot spelled “peek” incorrectly.  But, no, our story continues.

And leads us here, to a slideshow by the Romney campaign meant to show how Obama’s approval numbers compare with recent re-election campaigns:

Read the list. Do you see it?  The Republican party’s hero and demi-god Ronald Reagan’s name was spelled, “Regan.” Of all the names to misspell too. Do you think Ronald will descend from on high and punish Mitt for his insult and sacrilege? Or at least haunt him? I wouldn’t want to be Mitt Romney right now, I tell you what. But that’s mostly because I let my staff make me look like an idiot.

Because while this surely isn’t Sir Romney’s own personal fault, his campaign represents him (otherwise what’s the point of a campaign) and if your staff makes three major gaffes like these, that makes you look pretty damn stupid, maybe even borderline clinically idiotic.

Romney, my man, you like firing people right? So fire your entire technology team. Fire their skinny asses and get some geeks that know how to spell, dude!

Though, to be honest, he did need help appearing more in touch with American people, and we all know most Americans cannot spell.

How about Amercians though?

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