Okay, so here’s the thing… People are going to piss you off sometimes. You can’t escape it. When this does happen, you may or may not want to get revenge for whatever offence that person may have committed against you. That’s cool. I’m not going to judge. Hell! If I had an opportunity to exact some sweet vengeance on someone who wronged me, I just might take it. Probably. But, if I was going to do it, I’d make damn sure it was worth it! If you’re going to get revenge on someone, be smart about it. Don’t be like like Paul Marquez.
Marquez, a 22-year-old Victoria’s Secret stockperson, of Staten Island, New York is facing up to a year in jail for trying to sell a woman’s the 2-month-old daughter on Craigslist. Yeah… Craigslist. According to authorities, Marquez got upset when the woman he met online and started going out with, wasn’t giving him enough attention.
Police are speculating that the call the baby’s mother received wasn’t from a potential buyer, but from a concerned citizen, worried about the child’s safety. They also believe Marquez didn’t really intend to sell the woman’s baby. It looked like an attempt to give her a hard time more than anything else. It’s a good thing too, since actually selling her baby was a terrible idea for getting revenge.
Hypothetically speaking, I mean, I’m no expert in getting revenge on someone or anything (As far as you need to know anyway), but if I did have to get back at someone for wronging me, there would be a few basic considerations I’d keep in mind should I set about the task. Again, from a completely amateur perspective (*winks*) I’ll share a few tips as to how I think something as serious as revenge should be handled and where I think Marquez went astray:
1. Make sure the person you’re getting revenge on is worth the effort – Someone who hurt you or your loved one, a spouse who can’t keep it in their pants or someone else who betrayed you in some other way. Even your arch-nemesis! They’re always fun. All of these can be acceptable candidates for payback. Depending on how badly they hurt you, revenge is a natural choice. In Marquez’s case, his intended victim was a woman he met online and only dated a few times. Not someone worth the effort, in my book. You need to at least be trapped in a committed, long term relationship with a person before thoughts of revenge set in, I say. By then, you know your intended victim’s weak points and, if you’re able to play it cool for long enough, could have possibly gained enough of their trust so they don’t see you coming.
2. Let the punishment suit the crime – Even if you feel something as petty as the other person not hanging on to your every word, or whatever it was that Marquez was all pissy about, is worth getting revenge over, there’s no need to get the baby involved. Be smart! People are sensitive about babies getting in harm’s way. Maybe he could have gotten some immediate satisfaction, like slashing her tires and have been done with it. Better yet, he could have just walked away and continued his search for that someone who can given him all the love and attention he so felt he deserved.
3. Have a decent plan worked out – You don’t need to be a criminal mastermind, but you doesn’t mean you just go in, guns blazing (So to speak) and hope you take them down with you either. You know the old saying about revenge being a dish best served cold? Well, it might be cliché, but it’s true. You need to be cool and level-headed and take time to properly develop a well thought out plan that can go off with minimal errors. I know this sounds like a lot more work than you may have expected, but think of the alternative. You can end up not taking time to come up with a proper plan and run the risk of doing something monumentally stupid and half-assed… Like trying to sell someone’s baby on Craigslist’s “baby and kid stuff, for sale by owner” section, for example. As an added bonus, stopping to cool off before plotting revenge can even make you realize that maybe, just maybe, you probably shouldn’t be wasting the effort on this person.
On a side note, while we’re discussing Marquez’s plan, if you’re going to sell someone’s baby then FOR GOODNESS SAKE, sell that damn baby! If you say that you’re selling a baby because it has asthma any you’re tired of having to deal with it, how many interested buyers do you honestly expect to attract? Seriously! Granted he did say in his ad that the baby “loved to play and have fun”, but in the long run, who’s going to buy your defective baby when they can keep browsing until they find one that doesn’t have a long-term health issue. Had Marquez stopped and thought this through, I’m sure he could have made up a better excuse. For example, he could said something like he was selling the child to support his wife’s/girlfriend’s postpartum antidepressant addiction. There you go! Now the baby doesn’t come with health issues and the buyers can feel like they’re being helpful to that family. And it took only five minutes to think that up!
4. You’re probably going to get caught. Accept it - Don’t fool yourself. No matter how perfectly you plan, no matter what precautions you take, you’re probably going to get caught. Marquez did. Though, in his case, he made it easy.You have to ask yourself this one question:
“If I do this and I get caught, would it be worth it?”
Is it worth losing your job, your freedom, your reputation, or even your very life just to get back at this person? If the answer is no, then take a moment to reevaluate just how strong your desire for vengeance really was. If your answer is yes, however, then resolve within yourself to accept the consequences of your actions. I’m not sure whether Marquez has any regrets or not, but the fact that he went so far as to put the ad back up after it was taken down at least one time shows he had some determination. So there’s that.
And there you have it. These are just a few things to consider if you ever decide that plotting revenge on someone is the way to go. I guarantee that, if you execute your plot properly and follow these steps, you can have a more effective and a whole lot more satisfying vengeance-seeking experience.
Of course, what do I know. It’s not like I’ve ever done anything like this before. Honest!