I can’t stop giggling over this story because I have the maturity of a twelve-year-old boy. STOP IT! I tell myself sternly. THINK OF THE VICTIM.
Here she is. Doodle. The media haven’t even had the decency to withhold her name and picture.
She looks happy enough, doesn’t she? That’s because she’s brave. She’s a SURVIVOR. She just wants to put all this behind her and get on with her life, but her rapist says he won’t let that happen.
That’s right. Her rapist. An eyewitness report says that Carlos Romero, a 31-year-old farm worker from Ocala, Florida, with his shirt off and his pants down, was pressed up against 21-month-old miniature Doodle’s backside. Twenty-one months! And miniature! Oh! The humanity!
Romero did at least have the grace to step back and pull his pants up when he noticed the witness, but he showed no remorse or shame when the detectives showed up. He admitted to fondling the donkey, masturbating on her–you know, because her fur feels so good on his junk–but not having intercourse with her because he felt she was too young, which is, after all, in accordance with the American Mule and Donkey Association, who implore people to not breed their jennets (did you know female donkeys are called jennets? I did, because I am full of useless trivia like that. I am also full of ramen and Oreos) until they are at least 24 months old.
However, Romero said his penis may have accidentally (emphasis mine, of course) come in contact with Doodle’s–er, doodle, and some of his semen may have “splattered inside the donkey by accident.” I am not even making this up. Here, read the police report for yourself.
Doodle has been removed to Animal Services and Romero is in protective custody in the Marion County jail. He is charged with animal cruelty, despite Doodle being in apparent good health and showing no physical signs of abuse. (Of course, there are some scars that are not visible.) Florida is just so backward in its attitudes toward zoophilia. Hey, he said it, not me!
Hi. My name is Carlos. I am seeking an unattached jennet for a lasting relationship. My turn-ons include long ears, silky fur, plodding walks, and hay.
Romero says he has never been a “people person” (whoa–like literally, right?), preferring the company of animals because people “stab you in the back, give you diseases, lie to you” and that animals’ feelings are “100 percent honest.” Huh. I can’t really argue with that.
Sarah
09/19/2012
I. Um. Wow.
Several years ago, when J and I first got cable, we were channel surfing late on a Saturday night, and came across a documentary where we couldn’t discern exactly what it was about. And then, VERY quickly, it became obvious. It was about zoophilia. And the most important thing I learned from this: that’s not exactly how these guys normally go about doing their thing. It’s usually the reverse. This guy was doing it wrong.
Also? They had a quote in there from Rush Limbaugh about how he never guessed that this was the way things usually go down (he was commenting on the death of one individual, due to ‘complications’). And I agreed with him. You’re right. Some scars cannot be seen.
Handflapper
09/20/2012
My husband worked for an emergency vet clinic year ago and one night got a call from a frantic man whose German shepherd was–um–stuck to his wife. The couple tried to act like the dog barged in while they were getting busy, but that kind of thing doesn’t happen by accident!
I still think it’s funny they called a vet ER and not a human ER.
Lance
09/19/2012
who smiles in their mug shot if they’re not drunk?
“hey, slick, what you in fer?
“I molested a baby donkey and it was fun.”
“well, alright then, here’s a shiv in your cut.”
Handflapper
09/20/2012
Probably why he’s in protective custody.
You can look in his eyes and see he ain’t right.
Nichole
09/19/2012
Is it discriminatory if they allow regular size donkeys but not miniature ones?
Handflapper
09/20/2012
Yes. Against short people, which I suspect this guy is. I left out the part that he told police he’s been screwing horses and mules since he was 18. That’s quite a reach unless he’s hung like, well, a horse. Pretty sure that’s why he purchased a MINIATURE donkey. Tired of standing on a stepladder to get his loving done.