The Bum Rush

Caricature by Donkey Hotey

Well, now, Rush Limbaugh is ashamed. He’s ashamed of our country, he’s ashamed of our economy, and he’s ashamed of our president. (He’s not ashamed of his own hypocritical drug addiction; he put that behind him, after all.) Since Mr. Limbaugh is engaging in his usual paranoid antics, blaming the Doom Of The Nation on the current president, I thought it might be useful to examine some real boneheaded presidential moves that should, in fact, mortify American citizens. And, just to keep things fun, I’m going for a bit of random political shame. The sex scandals are just too easy. (Cough BillClinton Cough)

Woodrow Wilson’s racial policies

Although many of Wilson’s policies have been hailed for their visionary liberalism or some such nonsense, the man himself was a racist dickhead (that’s a political term, y’all). He spent the first years of his presidency railing against women’s suffrage, but swapped sides when told his position was politically unwise. But he never did get it right regarding race. While speaking out of one side of his mouth about equality and fairness, he instituted racial segregation in federal positions. Oops. Sounds pretty shameful to me.

Hello, Watergate?

Do I really need to elaborate? Watergate Hotel, Break-in at Democratic National Headquarters, Nixon cover-up, Deep Throat, President resigns and lots of people go to jail. The rest of the world shakes its head and rolls its eyes at those crazy Americans.

President Carter slashes military spending a little too thoroughly

Although the former President is an incredible philanthropist, and his work after the presidency is widely held in high regard, some of the things he did while in the oval office are a little … odd. For example, he defunded the military to the point that planes were left sitting on the runways, devoid of parts. Now, presidents come and go, and with them come various theories of military spending. But Carter’s move was economically unsound, and it only lost him votes come 1980.

The Iran-Contra affair

Finally, speaking of the guy elected in 1980, President Reagan’s staff (he couldn’t remember whether or not he was involved himself) sold arms to Iran to rescue hostages, and Ollie North diverted the funds of these sales to support the Contra rebels in Nicaragua. It didn’t matter that we are, as a society, averse to arming militants in exchange for the release of hostages or that Congress had outlawed funding to the Contras. It all came out in a sordid trial in which the US smeared its own face in the mud so France, England, and Canada wouldn’t have to gang up and do it for us.

These are far from the only awkward moments in presidential history, but surely the reminders should jostle the rotund one into deeper memories of what’s embarrassing in this country. Oh, and Mr. Limbaugh, if you’ve “said it over and over for twenty five years”, how is it the “first time” you are embarrassed? Please, do tell. Inquiring minds want to know.

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