Humans with testicles, you’re on notice, scratching your plums when your lady friend is about to eat dinner is classified as “disgusting”. Ronald Howard Jr. was arrested after a ball scratching fiasco, and would like you to know that no matter how itchy your family jewels are, scratching isn’t worth jail time. He thought he might get away with adjusting his man bits and getting a scratch in, but when his “live-in girlfriend, Shalamar Petrarca”, told him his behavior was unacceptable, he allegedly told her to “stop judging him” and might’ve pushed her around a little. According to our package scratcher, she was the aggressor and punched him for being gross.
In a case of “he said, she said”, I guess the police sided with the lady’s story because clearly, the man has a set of stones and they might know that the urge to scratch can be undeniable and unconscious and, in the words of our heroine, “rude”. I can just imagine the scene. I only wonder how the cops weren’t laughing hysterically the entire time, which is probably another reason I’m not a cop. Ha, ha, balls.
Who teaches these nutty men proper testicle adjustment? Never put your elbows on the table, chew with your mouth open or scratch your nuggets at dinner time. Another thing this guy might adjust are his eyebrows. They’re also rude and offensive.