Using Breasts As A Weapon

To each their own…

Dear Sprocket Ink: I just recently read the article about that lady who almost killed someone with her breasts. Her big beautiful, life takers…Is it true that some men want to die while being smothered by a women’s breasts? I’m asking for a friend.

Signed, My Girlfriend’s An A Cup

Dear “My Girlfriend”,

Boobs are God’s tools. They can give life (breastfeeding) and they can take it away (smothering).  Or at least according to the article.  Being a woman that is neither a lesbian nor bi-sexual, I could think of far worse ways to go. But you probably don’t want a woman’s point of view. A woman who motorboats breasts for the joy of it. Yeah, her.

After your question appeared on our radar, I asked my fellow SI crew member to give me his feelings toward the chosen form of taking life away. Lance said and I quote:

“If I were faced with being smothered by my wife’s ample bosom, I can’t think of a more fun, peaceful way to go.”

This is the opinion of a self-named breast man. My husband, however, enjoys the ass area. I think the appeal lies with what other senses are heightened during the slow release of death. Most breasts smell incredible where as asses…um…. Breasts would be cushioned and warm, asses likewise but the warmth comes from other reasons. I don’t want to be extremely bias here but facts are facts.

It’s pretty clear that there are two types of people in this world: Those that would die by breast and those that would die by ass.

So, really, the question is…

Would you (or your “friend”) rather be smothered by ample breasts or a sweet badonkadonk? The answer lies deep within you, my friend.

Best,

Kristi