We Accidentally Shot You, But Here’s a New Truck

Back story: Four years ago, LAPD of­ficer Christopher Jordan Dorner was fired. It’s apparently unclear why he was fired, but the LAPD said it will open an investigation into Dorner’s dismissal, including his allegations that his training officer kicked a mentally ill man during an arrest and that some of his fellow police officers were racist.

So, presumably as revenge for his dismissaL, Dorner is now sus­pec­ted in the shoot­ings of three po­lice of­ficers, one fatally, in River­side, California. He is also wanted in con­nec­tion with a double hom­icide of  the daugh­ter of a re­tired LAPD cap­tain and her fiancé  in Irvine, California.  The LAPD is also ex­amin­ing a mani­festo pub­lished on, “what the agency be­lieves is Dorner’s Face­book page,” wherein Dorner threatened, “un­con­ven­tion­al and asym­met­ric­al war­fare,” against po­lice. They “believe” it’s his Facebook page? They’re not sure it’s his or they’re not sure it’s Facebook? Seems like either would be pretty easy to ascertain. Just sayin’.

So Dorner has been on the run from police all over Southern California, aka my former hood. Maybe he’s looking for me. Nobody tell him I moved away. It will be our little secret.

Christopher Dorner, photographed by surveillance video at an Orange County hotel on Jan. 28.

And he’s considered armed and dangerous so police are doing everything they can to catch this guy, including shooting up any truck that looks like his. Or, as my dad put it, “Shooting any truck at all.”

Margie Carranza, 47, and her mother, Emma Hernandez, 71, were delivering newspapers in Torrance early Thursday when LAPD officers riddled their blue Toyota Tacoma with bullets. Hernandez was shot twice in the back, and Carranza sustained minor injuries from broken glass.

Dorner was believed to be driving a gray Nissan Titan. He’s also a man and these were two women. Pretty hard to mix up.

Police investigators examine a blue pickup that was riddled with bullets Thursday on Redbeam Avenue in Torrance.

But it gets better.

A few days later, David Perdue was on his way to sneak in some surfing before work Thursday morning when police flagged him down. They asked who he was and where he was headed, then sent him on his way. Seconds later,  a Torrance police cruiser slammed into his pickup and officers opened fire. Thankfully, none of the bullets struck Perdue.

Again, in this case, the pickups were different makes and colors. And Perdue looks nothing like Dorner: He’s several inches shorter and about a hundred pounds lighter. And Perdue is white; Dorner is black.

While driving a pickup truck, David Perdue says, he was rammed by a police car and shot at. He holds the bullets.

So basically, my dad was right. They’re shooting anyone in a truck. Absolutely anyone. I told my dad to sell his truck. Better safe than sorry.

This story does have a happy ending, however. I wouldn’t want to kick off “Random Act of Kindness” week with such a sad tale. In an incredible show of remorse and humility, The Torrance police chief apologized to Perdue and offered him a rental car and payment for his medical expenses.  And Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck will provide a new truck to two women injured.

Doesn’t that restore your faith in humanity? In our justice system? In the officers patrolling the streets of Southern California? They may shoot you while searching for someone who looks nothing like you and who is driving a different vehicle, but you’ll get a new car, or at least a rental. It’s like winning a really, really dangerous game show.

Oh and Dorner is still on the loose. Seriously people, you may not want to drive your trucks in SoCal any time soon. Or there’s this:

Elected officials and law enforcement authorities are expected to offer a $1-million reward for information leading to the arrest and capture of fugitive ex-cop Christopher Jordan Dorner.

With that kind of cheddar, you can buy all the new trucks you want! Totally worth it.

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