The aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombings has been predictable and with clouded perspective. Political factions have lined up with the usual suspects on the right insisting that the alleged perpetrators, Chechnya born, American-citizened brothers Tamerlan and Dshokhar Tsarnaev must be part of an Al Quada-like terrorist network and thus, conspiracy is a major player. While those on the left are concerned with downplaying the perpetrators Muslim religion and foreign background to show bow to political correctness. Evidence and actual facts are supporting the idea that the Tsarnaev brothers were mischievous misguided morons who not only couldn’t shoot straight but they also couldn’t keep their stories that way, either. The more that is learned about their parents, including a mother who went from Americanized and lovin’ it cosmetologist with teased hair to hate spewing shoplifter, it’s a lot easier to draw a conclusion that the Tsarnaez brothers’ trip into bad times with bad intentions are related to the rough hewn but true Chris Rock philosophy that “crazy” is the answer to “why”.
In 1999, Chris Rock hilariously offered a common sense explanation as to what happened to the two young men that committed the Columbine High School massacre. While simple and lacking in psychological analysis, it proved to be spot on as you later learned those two gunmen were more hate-filled, mentally disturbed, and sociopathic. Sounds like these Tsarnaev brothers, doesn’t it.
The FBI has learned from the Russian government, through an intercepted phone call in 2011, that the mother Zubeidat Tsarnaev vaguely discussed Jihad with her oldest son, Tamerlan but it involved a far-fetched idea of him traveling to Israel. Russian authorities put her on a watch list but didn’t take the conversations seriously. While some are pointing to a conspiracy here, the evidence suggests that the mom went hate-spewing crazy first, then convinced the Tamerlan who tricked the crap down to his little brother.
Before you get offended by Chris Rock or the rest of this column, understand there are different levels of crazy. There’s a self-loathing, weird, wrestle with demons type that make writers like the one you’re reading and then there’s hate-filled, blame everyone else for your issues and then hurt and kill people crazy. The latter is being addressed here.
Three years ago, the Tsarnaevs were living like a reality show version of themselves. The mom wore low-cut blouses, teased her hair like a member of Jersey Shore, while her sons smoked weed, listened to rap and hip hop, and the family took evil America’s welfare. Sometime around 2011, mom started wearing the traditional clothing, shouting that 9/11 was an inside job to hurt Muslims, and running off her spa, nails, and hair cutting business friends from her home. Shortly thereafter, Tamerlan went home to Chechnya, came back, and all hell broke loose inside his and baby brother’s heads.
None of the American or Russian security agents, FBI, or Homeland Security analysts can find anything remotely resembling a Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck secret cabal of evil Muslims conspiracy. In fact, Russian officials turned over the intercepted phone calls because they wanted to show them how lame the Tsarnaevs were. So, why did the brothers snap, put bombs in backpacks and kill five people? Well, if you have to blame someone other than their sick selves, go Internet.
Real Al Quaeda like to brag about their horrible accomplishment. They even have their own online magazine, Inspire. The Tsarnaev brothers became huge fanbois of the People magazine for psychos shortly after it went online in English in 2010. The crudely made bombs that exploded at the Boston Marathon came from How To Tutorials there and other sites written by Al Quaeda bombers. There’s no evidence of direct communication between those real gangsters and Tsarnaev wannabes. The magazine published several articles on how to make bombs from pressure cookers and fireworks. Think Pinterest but death and destruction instead of recipes and kittens.
The real person that should be listened to from the Tsarnaev family is the America living, gamefully employed, patriotic Uncle, Ruslan Tsarnaev. He stood in front of reporters last week and declared his nephews to be “losers” and he was spot on.
There will be a trial, likely a conviction, and possibly an execution. While many will point to mysterious people, circumstances, and conspiracies that don’t really exist outside of bored blogger’s imaginations, we’ll all ask the same question Chris Rock did, 14 years ago, Whatever happened to crazy?
Stay strong Boston.