It’s almost here.
The day of love.
The day of Romance.
Or, as I call it, the day of needlessly spending money on someone who already knows you love them but if you don’t get them something you’ll come across as a cold-hearted bitch.
A.K.A. Valentines Day.
V-Day is usually pretty cliché. Dinner, roses, candy……other, uh, romantic things. Why not try something different this year? Find single people and make out in front of them. Shoot people walking down the street with heart-shaped arrows. Go to the zoo and watch the animals hump each other.
You like my last suggestion?
Well if you live in Pittsburgh, you’re in luck. The Pittsburgh Zoo will be hosting a Valentine’s Day dinner for “adults only”. Sorry kids, you won’t want to pet any of these animals. Let me quote from the zoo’s website:
Join us for dinner, cocktails, and an adults-only presentation by Henry Kacprzyk, who will reveal the intimate secrets of exotic animal mating. From the most violent mating battles to the subtlest courting rituals, learn how the animals of land, sea, and air find love in the wild.
Love is definitely in the air. And in the caves. And grass. And water. I don’t know about you guys but when I see this kind of stuff on the Discovery Channel, I’m instantly in the mood. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have sex after watching animals mate?
Well, to each his own I guess.