I feel the need to include the caveat that I love old school Hollywood divas. I love them. I will be one of them one day, you mark my words. This is why:
Legendary bombshell actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, now aged 94 was taken to hospital on Wednsday, March 23, 2011, upon hearing the news that her dear friend, Liz Taylor had passed away. Her blood pressure shot through the roof and she expressed fear that the news of it would cause her to pass away prematurely.
She believes firmly in the superstition that tragedies come in threes, as this was regularly taught when she was born in 1543. With the recent passing of Jane Russell & Liz Taylor, she is concerned that she might be up next on Heaven’s dance card ( the poor lady. I feel for her, I really, truly do. Imagine how relieved she’ll feel if another star kicks the bucket in the next few days). It’s thought that she might be giving Shirley MacLaine and Mickey Rooney the evil eye in hopes of bringing them the bad luck instead of her, buying her some more time.
Nobody is bringing up the fact to her that she is pretty much 78234 years old now and refuses to have her left, blood clot riddled leg removed (as was partially required of her right due to infection in late 2010). Instead, they are just pretending to check their blackberries, nodding and looking awkwardly at one another a lot.
My own sources indicate that her sister, Eva has been calling her home by haunting the actress with the tune, “Gangrene Acres is the Place for you!” since her own tragic death in 1995. Zsa Zsa has been ignoring her sister out of sheer stubbornness for 16 years.
This isn’t funny and I shouldn’t be laughing.
*pinches own leg*.
I am so sorry.
*pinching it again, but harder*
*leg partially falls off*
Uh oh…. still laughing. I am a terrible person.
Crap.
Oh Zsa Zsa, I love you.
Thankfully, she was back at home on Thursday, feeling better & I hope she has many more healthy years full of giving people hell and slapping law men who get cheeky.
source
gingermandy
03/25/2011
Dying prematurely is getting in a motorcycle accident. Not dying at the age of 94.
Chelle
03/25/2011
I might have added the “prematurely” bit. It’s implied. SHE’S 94.
gingermandy
03/25/2011
Oops. But yea, sorry to be the turd in her punch bowl but it’s pretty much just a game of “beat the clock” from here on out for her.
Chelle
03/25/2011
It should be a game on Price is Right.
I keep saying things that make me a bad person. I think it’s tourette’s.
Ellenspot
03/25/2011
rotflmao
Cake Betch
03/25/2011
Horrible? Yes. Did I laugh? Hell yes I did, what, do you think I have a soul?
Then I googled pictures of her cause I didn’t know she used to be so hot.
Chelle
03/25/2011
I like old ladies. I’m having a huge moral dilemma. Even crazy divas. Especially crazy divas.
mom
03/25/2011
Har har…that’s cuz you come from a long line of divas…mom
Chelle
03/25/2011
You taught me better… but you also taught me how to walk in heels and why I should only wear dangly earrings.
Chelle
03/25/2011
And that it’s funny to put babies’ pajamas on them upside down when the cable goes out… because the babies don’t know and THAT is funny.
mom
03/26/2011
You’re a good learner..
Elly Lou
03/25/2011
She has a lambchop voodoo doll, doesn’t she?
Chelle
03/25/2011
You’re thinking of Shari Lewis… but I wouldn’t put it past Zsa Zsa to have voodoo dolls.
The Offended Blogger
03/25/2011
I want to be reborn in that era as I’d have made a fabulous cheeky cop slapper.
Chelle
03/25/2011
Wouldn’t we all? He dared to want to find out her age. CAN YOU IMAGINE?
TILTE
03/25/2011
Lol. Great entry- you had me at “…born in 1543…” and sealed the deal at “…78234 years old…”.
Chelle
03/25/2011
I’m 74% sure that those are accurate facts.
laughingmom
03/25/2011
Are you sure she’s not dead already?
Chelle
03/25/2011
No, but I was worried that she would die before my post went up. For real. Then I’d REALLY feel guilty.
Chelle
03/25/2011
I mean yes, I’m sure. I checked.
laughingmom
03/25/2011
Hopefully a reliable source like TMZ or the Enquirer (does that still get printed?).
Chelle
03/25/2011
Ummm… wikipedia *hide*
Rece
03/25/2011
I believe the original term is “vrykolakas”.
Chelle
03/25/2011
Almost.
Caleb
03/25/2011
You know, you date *one* older woman missing part of her leg and everyone thinks you’re weird. Yet how many women date older men and it’s perfectly okay?
What a double standard.
Zsa Zsa (or, double-Z’s as I call her) and I are currently just talking, but we’ve been on and off before. I’d *appreciate* it if you would stop heckling us just because our birthdays are a few centuries apart. That sort of judgment is so 2007.
Caleb
Chelle
03/25/2011
I knew I’d offend someone.
Ed Adams
03/25/2011
I didn’t realize she was even STILL alive.
Don’t know why I’m surprised, she did used to date methuselah.
Chelle
03/25/2011
Methuselah, if broken down, turns into “Meth use lah”. Just saying.
AndyGirl
03/25/2011
oh Zsa Zsa indeed. die prematurely? what’s she going for, oldest woman alive?
Chelle
03/25/2011
Aren’t we all? At least she dropped a shoe size. GET IT? Bahahahahahaha
AndyGirl
03/26/2011
BAHA!
dbs
03/28/2011
There must be a sequel to this where you discuss Zsa Zsa’s husband the, uh, prince/attention whore.
Chelle
04/04/2011
Perhaps one day..
Olympiias The Great
04/01/2011
It Came in three’s—Farley Granger was the 3rd Woman–All three had a reference to Cleopatra in their lifetime/career. Yes there is something big going down in celebrity-dum…Not just an in 3′s thingy. And it all has to do with an ancient Macedonian curse. Check out my postings as Olympiias at Twitter. It even looks like someone may even be trying to do the old girl in–Manipulating said curse at Zsa Zsa now.
Chelle
05/30/2011
You’re probably right.